[War] France: "Whack-a-Mole"

[Bryan Tribble]

"Whack-a-Mole"
President Adrien Durant
French Republic
19 February 2013
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"Dammit!" Adrien cursed, flinging down Le Figaro as he simultaneously
slammed a fist onto his desk. Sprawled across the front page was an
above-the-fold story about his "opportunistic" comment regarding the Church,
and it wasn't particularly flattering. Whether or not they were more clever
than him or just lucky he wasn't sure but the opponents of laïcité were
daily doing an extraordinary job at chipping away at the edges of the
institution.

Claude Lacoste, the president's chief of staff, sat quietly across from him
waiting for the rare moment of anger to pass. He'd come totting the
newspaper into the president's office first thing in the morning, hoping to
get the bad news out of the way.

"It's only one paper, and it's not like they care for you very much in the
first place," Claude offered, trying to minimize the damage.

Adrien looked up from the paper and frowned at his aide. "And would you like
to explain how that ended up in the paper in the first place, Claude? There
were two of us in that limousine, and I sure as hell didn't run and tell a
reporter about it."

"There's an internal memo circulating through the office on laïcité, a
policy workup on interreligious dialogue as you asked. There may be some
references to opportunism in the notes on the document, but it's was only a
draft and exclusive to the President's Office."

"Then who's working against me in my own damn office?" Adrien pressed, still
fuming about the situation but not entirely sure where to direct his anger.
"I want you to find the person who's responsible and fire them. And make
sure everyone else knows they were fired for leaking portions of an internal
document to the press."

It was now Claude's turn to frown. "These things happen, Adrien. It's
something we can certainly recover from quite easily. Firing someone over it
might be a bit drastic."

"Then tell me what's the sense of even having an internal document if
someone is just going to run to a journalist with it?" Adrien snorted in
disgust. "Find them and fire them. I don't care if you have to paper the
office with 'Loose Lips Sink Ships' posters: make it clear that this is
unacceptable, and it won't occur on my watch without some form of punishment
being meted out. People might not like it but at the end of the day I don¹t
want the Office of the President filled with people serving the Church or
themselves over the interests of the State and the People."

"I suppose you'd like me to couple the manhunt with the release of the new
austerity measures," Claude asked. He wasn't too happy about them himself
and despite his best efforts he couldn't help but let it show. "Adrien, are
these truly necessary? You are going to get the civil service in an uproar
over a few million euros."

"A few million euros?" Adrien scoffed. "Am I the only one who's acutely
aware that we are only just now emerging from a global recession? The civil
service and others should consider themselves lucky to have gone without
implementing these measures so far. As of tomorrow, no more private planes
for anyone who isn't conducting Cabinet-level business. That includes both
the executive and judicial branches. Government officials can fly commercial
just like the rest of the country and simply be satisfied that they aren't
being dragged about in horse-drawn carriages.

"And make sure the Court of Audit is serious about reviewing the expense
accounts of all national government offices and officials. I'd like to see
the premier président of the Court in my office first thing in the morning
to impress that upon him and make it clear that we intend to provide the
resources necessary to allow these audits to be carried forward."

Claude shook his head. "And will this include the Office of the President as
well?"

"Of course," Adrien frowned. "I practice what I preach, Claude. And if I
were able to fly commercial, I would do so. But we've got to start
tightening our belts. And so help me if the National Assembly so much as
whimpers about following suit, let them know they can't even begin to
imagine the level of trouble they'll create for themselves. The British MP
expense scandals will look like a holiday compared to the media circus we'll
make over it all."

Actions:
1.) Identify the press leak on the "opportunism" of the Church comment and
fire them; make it well known to the rest of the civil service that it is
unacceptable to unofficially leak material to the press.

2.) Institute new austerity measures on spending in the executive and
judicial branches ­ cancel all private flights and require all government
business not at the Cabinet level to be conducted through commercial air
travel (with preference for Air France and other European carriers). Heavily
encourage the legislative branch to follow suit.

3.) Request the Court of Audit to conduct an audit of the expense accounts
of all government employees, including members of the National Assembly, and
provide them with the necessary resources to do so.

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